Tuesday, February 03, 2009

The day Roger Federer became a pussy

It was a day that would be more remembered as Roger Federer who turned into a pussy than Rafa getting the credit for his hard court Grandslam title. For the retarded, Rafa won his first Australian Open title this year and he has now a collection of 6 Grandslams at 22 years. There are die hard Roger fans who would ramble mindlessly over Roger's extremely low first serve percentage which was the key for the meek surrender by Roger in the 5th set.


Rafa played tough in the finals for over 4 and half hours with nerves made of steel and mind of non diminishing grit. He played a gruelling 5 hour 14 minute match, the longest in AO history, to register a win over his fellow Spaniard Fernando Verdasco in the Semi finals. Stepping into the finals everybody expected Rafa to be tired and some even thought it won't last long more than 4 sets. Rod Laver, John McEnroe, Pat Cash and yours truly (this is a chance to put my name alongside the greats) predicted Roger to win easily.

The moment match went into the 5th set I gave up my hope of Rafa's chance for a win. I was pretty sure that he cannot turn around this time and started browsing the web. To everyone's dismay Rafa won convincingly in the decider with some help from Federer who cannot kill the demons inside his cranium. A Rafa lightening struck Roger sometime after trailing Rafa 1-2 on serve in the 5th and then he suddenly started shanking his forehands and putting in uncharacteristic double faults. Nadal seized the set in no time and the finals was over without a dramatic finish unlike their last meeting at SW19.


Roger was asked first to receive the plate. He started confidently by saying,"Hey guys". The crowd roared and clapped. "Thanks for the support", he said. The crowd admired and applauded in jubilation. He then did the unthinkable. He put his head down, the crowd cheering, took a deep breathe and said, "God, it's killing me". No one knows what 'it' he was referring to. But everybody knew that precise moment that he was heartbroken. The guy was sobbing like no one has ever done on the podium. The tears of sorrow were flowing not like tap water from Indian municipality pipes but like water gushing from Niagara falls. He was wailing. Everyone including the dignitaries on the podium were dumbstruck. Rafa din't expect this kind of reception for his first hard fought hardcourt slam victory and obviously his celebrations were muted.


Rafa as usual, started his victory speech on the stage by saying sorry. The crowd din't like the apology for his hard earned title. It was evident the way they laughed after hearing it, instead of applauding it. No body knows why on earth he apologises Roger. Some say Rafa is humble. Some nut heads argue is he humble enough to hand him the FO title if they meet in the finals again.

The finals are now being remembered as the day Roger cried like a kid. He was unstoppable. It's as if he was literally begging Rafa by saying,


"Can you please get the hell out of my way till I achieve the coveted No.14 and No.15 slams. I do not know what else to do to counter your bloody top spin forehand to my backhand. You were running me ragged and I am feeling ashamed that I cannot cope that. I am the most talented player that ever since tennis has been introduced and you have been tormenting since you were 18. I am even afraid that you would take the GOAT status by winning slams on all four different surfaces. You've already won the Olympic Gold to add to my misery. Your game is not even half as good as mine and yet you were able to achieve the same reputation and stature as mine with lesser Grandslam titles punctuated with not even 50 weeks of No.1 ranking. 15 years down the lane when we both retire, people will be talking your name the moment somebody says Federer is the greatest ever. I can never digest that fact.


I thought I could sweep all corners of the world with my game, glamour, dignity, smile and grit. You have a fake smile and you can't even look straight into the eyes of the interviewer while talking. I thought we both had a mutual unspoken agreement that I won't take your French and you would not take my Wimbledon. You have violated it and are now taking my hardcourt titles as well. I would love to see you once struggling with your knees at my finals in the French Open'09.


I am a Leo and love hogging the limelight. I know I have loads of ego but it was never so evident on the courts. People mistook it for my humbleness which has done me a huge favour for my global fame. I am even getting ridiculed by non tennis people like this stupid Rock who minces no words and loves to see me getting beaten. Thirteen - Six is our head to head in favour of Rafa and I still do not know how much more he wishes me to lose. How I wish to see him cry after taking a dig on his weakness for programming? What more should I do to please the small minority of tennis fans who are not mine ?


I would not have bothered if you had all the shots in the book like I do. You have a ugly double handed back, some sort of serve that doesn't justify your muscle. You started hitting the ball really hard oflate and tennis is not to be played that way. You are hitting me now below the belt and I am unable to stand those blows. You don't even have fans crying for you after your marathon loss. I have ladies, gents and gays weeping all alike for my loss. I am such a tennis phenomenon which the world hasn't seen ever before and ever after my retirement, and that is why the mere thought I lost to some rusty lefty from Spain, is killing me ! "



If you want to see whether I received brickbats or bouquets for this article, then that can be found here:
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/119014-the-day-roger-federer-became-a-kittycat<

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rock,

That is a damn good article, go for it, don't mind the fury from the Rodge fans, but just one note, can you change the word "pussy" to some other synonym cause I think B/R does not like such words...I am just telling you as I don't want this to end up as a "flagged" article, just change that one word in the title and the body and you are good to go.

I always say hit the iron when it is hot...so go for it, it is okay to stomp some feet and add to the heartbreak.

And of course, I am heartless.

Thanks,
Sarah

Leo6 said...

Excellent article mate.Too good n loved the way you presented it.It is not biased as it seems for Roger fans but its candid for sure.
The way you compared Rafa’s game,service,biceps,fan following etc with Roger and what he thought, were the highlight for me.hilarious. you took a dig at Rafa as well but that’s ok.

Surely this article will piss Roger fans. Rafa’s game is calibrated to exploit modern day tennis techniques. His fame is seemingly destined.his powers of adaptability and innovation is better than any other player of his generation.
I get the feeling that Roger is getting hurt very often, cos he is too much obsessed about the record, which he thought of getting it, a year back. Roger is too good against all other players except Rafa, which is hurting him. His H2H record will only get worse by the year. He got a pain in his ass when Rafa won in Wimbledon and the nails in the coffins are getting more these days.

Roger if he wants to win his next slam which will be Wimbledon ofcourse, should do the unthinkable of trying to hire a long term coach and psychologist, which might not work.

He should get used to the defeats cos its not going to get any better in the future. He should learn to carry some hankies if he cant control his tears. No sympathies and def. not a legends way to cry on defeats. The champion he is, should be humble. He did took the sheen out of Rafa’s celebration by crying and btw did he thank Rafa after the match??

I am waiting for the day when he will be told to say in front of cameras that Rafa is a better player than him and owns him by the record.Roger saying that he doesn’t have the game, stamina n biceps to beat Rafa.True, Roger cannot win as long as Rafa is in his way. Anyways, even if he gets to that 14th slam, Rafa surely will have an upper hand and slams on all surfaces and an Olympic gold to backup .Rafa might well cross 12 slams by 2012.As you righly put it ”Roger Federer became a pussy”:)

Rock said...

That's also the point mate. I even took a swipe at Rafa but it seemed many did not bother about it.

Yeah, he did give Rafa the credit that he deserves the victory, after being able to hold his cry for a brief moment.

You are very good in talking tennis too. Just goes to show you've been following the game quite closely as well.

"I am waiting for the day when he will be told to say in front of cameras that Rafa is a better player than him and owns him by the record" - That's quite a big wish and dont expect any acknowledgment of that sort from Roger, knowing he is not as humble as Rafa.

"He should learn to carry some hankies if he cant control his tears." - Quite funny.

Yeah, 12 slams by 2012 is a realistic target provided if his knees hold up.

Whatever the cry has been talked more than Rafa's victory and hence that daredevil attempt at Roger globally. I am very glad that you enjoyed reading it.

Leo6 said...

I was always interested in tennis mate and following tennis for the last 2 decades.Of late,been following the game since Rafa's n novak's emergence.Sampras and Roger made it somewhat boring to me.

As you know,i didnt know that he gave credit to Rafa after the loss.
Yeah,i was expecting too much or almost impossible thing,when i wrote about the wish.True,Roger is not as humble as Rafa.

I gave you a bouquet in the BR.keep up the good work mate!