Unforced Errors

Because you stupid freaks are waiting for those errors more than the post itself, I'm straight away going for it rather than a tid bits sort at the end. As always there will always be one take on girls / ladies / bitches which you would like to know. Being a male blogger this is the advantage.



Unforced Errors:

1. If a lady reads the above lines, she will quickly come to a conclusion that I am a male chavunist.
2. You cannot enlighten a girl as you would normally enlighten a man. You should know the art of pampering. Drown yourself down the kitchen sink if you don't know the art.
3. Windows 7 was launched and the future of Redmond based empire is built on this latest release.
4. Cheerleaders looked hawwwtt in the stadium. Had there been no grills between them and the spectators, they would have been torn to rags by male pervert dogs.
5. A lion can do the same thing 15 freaking times in an hour to what you do once a day.
6. The Casanova guy is having a ball of a time with the next door aunty.
7. Changing the office building will not matter to few guys because their seats will always be allotted right in front of the main door.
8. Ceasefire days are still going on.
9. The other KP or the find of ACL is Kieron Pollard.
10. If you are still in your diapers, a lady talks on an average 21 freaking thousand words in a day to a man's 7 only thousand.
11. I've heard recession has come to an end or atleast the number of job losses have come down.
12. Air India has been under losses to a magnitude of few thousand crores of rupees and the company still does not decrease the air fare to rope in normal folks.
13. There are no muhurts for Hindu marriages till the end of April next year. So my best mate is getting married by the end of November.
14. Seeeriously is one word which ladies try to use often to which they indirectly mean they are not one bit serious.
15. You cannot find a Google news Science and Technology section without Apple's news. Google news is generous enough to throw few postive links on Microsoft's recently launched OS.
16. The word Google, Apple and Windows should have already made it into the Oxford dictionary.
17. Staring at the monitor or not moving from your chair does not mean you are a sincere and efficient worker. Companies know that but still they cannot get rid of that myth for some weird reason.
18. When ladies don't know how to work, they know what will work. Watch out for ladies falling over you to get the job done even though they know that you are gay.
19. Winter is picking up here and we are about to switch off the fans in the night.
20. Nobody knows what nutrients Serena used to develop a front that is as sizeable as her back.
21. The more you listen to my crap, the more you would be influenced by my words leaving your thoughts in your dressing room drawer.

My first Live Cricket match experience

My friends have just finished their lunch by cooking chicken and because I don't eat non-veg I ordered veg meals parcel from the mess. The delivery guy as usual comes late and it is now giving me a chance to bark on something which I've been procrastinating for a while. The fact that I've restrained blogging from the office is also a reason for such a gap between the posts, which you have not been longing for.


For the first time I had seen an International Cricket match in a stadium. One cannot really call a Champions League T20 match an International game, but it involves international and domestic players and hence it is a safe bet to call to call it, tock tock " " International. First match was between NSW vs Sussex Sharks and the other one was between Delhi Daredevils vs Wayamba Eleven at Feroz Shah Kotla stadium.

The first match was to begin at 4pm and we arrived as early as 1:30 pm at the grounds. Website says, one can get into the grounds at 2pm but when we reached there we got to know that we would be let into the stadium at 3:30 pm. @#$^&*@ of that sort came out and we went around the ground. We headed to Gate No.2 and luckily that was the moment when NSW team bus arrived at the stadium. We caught a glimpse of Brett Lee as he was sitting right at the front and was conspicuous for the people standing outside.


We saw few more players in through the window but not able to recognise coz they are domestic players. I met an English fan standing to collect his ticket at the online redemption counter. He was standing behind us and I told him he I could see Brett Lee. He quickly acknowledged that and pointed that Lee has a huge fan following in India, which I got to know when I went into the stadium. It was good to see him admiring Australian players even though he was English.


The online ticket counter from where they were issuing tickets was little bigger than a horse's hole and the service was ridiculously slow. People who came right to the stadium bought the tickets at the other counter and proceeded than the miserable ones who bought tickets online. If incase one wants to call the helpline number that was present at the website to obtain any information, the response would be "Please check the number you have dialled". I was lamenting that we should have taken our digital camera and I asked the guy next to me standing in the line, if it is allowed to take cameras inside. He confidently said 'yes' and he pointed me to the board that showed the list of allowed things to the stadium.


My joy had no bounds when the security guard told him that camera was not allowed inside. Don't know what he did and he also wore a hat to start with to protect himself from the sun. So we entered the stadium and we three room mates were excited for, it was the first time we were seeing a match and it is in New Delhi.


We quickly observed that watching a match Live in the ground is not even half as exciting as watching it on TV. But a T20 match will be interesting at the grounds because of the volume of boundaries that you get to see than a One-day or a Test match. Looking at the crazy screams by the fans, to which I am no exception, one can see why T20 will be gaining in popularity and attracting people all over the world. It is sheer entertainment and add to that , the DJ belting hit numbers till the bowler delivers the ball, which can sometimes be distracting for the batsmen, would also pump up the excitement.


People were really screaming for Brett Lee when he was bowling and even more so when he was standing at fine leg, which was closer to us . He really steams in when he bowls and with this ver second delivery he knocked of a batsman stumps. He leaped in the air and did his jig and the stadium erupted.


Crowds were screaming when Delhi came to bat and one can see the Indian cricket fanaticism when Sehwag was thumping the ball. Everyone was on the edge of their seats and Sehwag really does not hold back. Each delivery he faces is a totally new thing which he treats in his own way. We were lucky to witness a half-century by the Sachin look alike and Sehwag looked very relived after scoring a quick 50. I can imagine now what the fever would be like when Sachin Tendulkar takes guard and what it would be like when he thumps a ball straight drive down the ground of Brett Lee's pace. Thrilling and you would not stop raving about the little man.


We left the stadium after Delhi Daredevils innings and we made sure that Delhi would win with our golden legs present at the stadium for a do-or-die match for the locals. Once we reached home we turned the TV on for the second innings and normality was restored. We could immediately feel the difference.


Did I miss anything? The cheer leaders? They are gorgeous and as Arun Lal would put it they are 'Angels'. They really are cheering the crowd and they looked natural and were not pretending when they were doing their moves. Few girls will really test your hormone levels if you keep glaring at them incessantly. One need not be surprised if they find the excitement lesser without the cheer leaders. They really are a huge impact to this fast food format of the game.


Yesterday, I saw the same girls for the Bangalore vs Delhi match on the TV and I felt they are my friends coz I got connected to them. They can forget me but I cannot forget them.

I don't know why I am really nice to you when I do a third standard narration.

Eventful month

Not for me for my elder brother who got engaged on Monday (21/09). So finally September has done some good to one of the folks in my house. People are saying that, he has cleared the line for me. I say, when was I ever blocked. The last time I was blocked, I punched the iron bricks to smithereens with my metal knuckles so hard that I've started developing iron in my body with rock as my nickname.

Whenever I see some freak has landed directly on to this blog and has left without a comment, would drive me nuts. But that also forces me to come out of hibernation and leave my remains here. The fact that this blog is still alive is because of some nosey people existence in this world.


Next Monday and Friday being a holiday, everyone is planning for a trip home. With three days leave, they can have a whole 9 days starting from this Friday. Bumper offer. But I am staying here not going home because of my brother's marriage in November. Not that I don't get leave but just that travelling could become taxing. Even I planned for a near by trip on this Friday, but with cold still in me and my room mate dropping at the last moment, I am bound to cancel the tickets.

What a great opportunity to prepare for interviews during the long weekend and plan to move from here. Unless someone kicks from the backside or you feel that you are sitting on an iron grilled chair with no cushion on it, one will not shift a company leaving the comforts behind. Waiting for the big kick that should be arriving by the end of this year which may eventually rock the bottoms.

I am glad that this stupid month has gone so fast with a much needed event in our house that everyone was wishing for.

Now that I am not into politics and tennis you are left free this time without getting dumped with much of unwanted information no matter how much ever you want to read it.

Unforced Errors:

1. There will be one unforced error in this list on which you will be glued and would be longing for more information.
2. While women allege that men are pigs, men allege are sure that women are bitches. And life goes on.
3. I was watching "Little Manhattan" in my return flight from home and a person sitting in the back row was so fascinated with the little love story that he was forced to ask the name of the movie.
4. My mom is pretty happy that she is going to get a daughter in law who is so active.
5. Justine Henin has returned to tennis after retirement and I can never become her fan for her diminutive figure.
6. My best mate advised me not to show your desperation for girls even if you are desperate.
7. If you are moody with your wife after marriage chances are that she is going to have an affair with your next door neighbor.
8. Chances are more if she is a housewife. Get a freaking life if you do not understand what I am barking here.
9. Learning Java independently by browsing the online tutorials is never easy. What you learn in 10 days exploring yourself will be learnt in one day by sitting in a coaching class .
10. Blogger has added a check mark option while uploading images. Somebody has spanked Google or what with lawsuit?
11. Glad is one word which I've been using often. Glad is such a word that does not evoke any positive feelings like happy, enthusiasm, zeal etc. The word glad is sad.

Nine is fine - 09/09/09

This type of date 9/9/9 comes once in every thousand years. The next time this date would appear is on 9/9/3009. Because you and I anyhow will not live up to that date, I atleast am providing you to see the date visibly here. By that time I think the world will come to an end. 1000 years hence, price of one kilo onions of could become Rs 1 lac and people will be drinking oil because oil gets dearer than water.

It is actually the number nine that is forcing me to put up a post and provide some refreshment to you freaks. The sum of all digits of the year that I was born add up to 9. Test for your brains now to calculate the year if you haven't known already that I was born in 1989. So first thing when I receive a roll number or a telephone number is to quickly sum up the digits and see where it adds up to.


It gives one a slight confidence and a feeling that everything would be fine, if an important occasion or event falls on their lucky number. My engineering roll number was 36 and I screwed up the percentage.

For most of the freaks who believe in numerology number 9 is considered to the luckiest. Next is 7. Next is what ever miserable number that comes when you sum all the digits of your birth year. If the superstition takes control of your mind, then you even start summing up the serial numbers that you find on your mouse, monitor and the key board.

Sachin Tendulkar used to wear a jersey 99. Dhoni sports number 7. HW: Find other celebrities or sport stars who wears fancy jersey numbers.

Mind is like a monkey and that monkey is trying to rap on nine, even when it knows it sends shivers down the spine.

Nine is fine,
It is always mine,
Neva eva whine,
'coz nine is fine.

Ask for a dine,
Stand in a line,
Toast with a wine,
Wait for the decline.

Go to a shrine,
Pray the divine,
Do not ever resign,
For nine is fine.

Seven is heaven,
Fight like Bevan,
dash dash en,
Cannot say Amen.

Now that first standard rhymes had brain washed me and you, I am attempting to come with nine unforced errors.

1. There are ninety nine numbers before hundred unless you count zero and negative numbers.
2. Playing a nice guy role all the time in your life to ladies, should eventually lead into a rant.
3. Shifting our work place to the old building again is driving me nuts.
4. Compaq cup tri series cricket is going on in SL and no body is even bothered to take a peek.
5. Not always one has to live up to his promise because in few years you and I are not meeting down the line at street number ninety nine.

Sep-tum-ber - The useless month

Of all the months in the universe, the ninth month of an year is the useless in my opinion. A waiting Ninth month we know is very exciting for men and women to see the result of their overnight efforts.

I do not know who has created the names of months or where they came from. But the name September is the longest and boring of all the month names. Time to rant on September rather than on Federer for a change. Oh wait, how about including a month called Federer. September, October, November, December, Federer..... Naa... it did not suit.


Often the boring of months, a september, goes unnoticed in everyones lives unless your miserable birthday day falls in this month. My opinion sometimes is written in stone and meshed with grid iron. Imagine if you have your marriage day falling in this month and that is some torture.

1. You forget to remember the day and get spanked by your wife.
2. You don't have mood to celebrate it because it is in September.
3. At this time of the year, where do we go honey?

Months October to December run very fast like a cheetah chased by deer because of festivals starting from Dussera, Diwali, Ramzan, Christmas and culminating with the New Year's eve. So these are the most exciting ones in everyones life. Most of the times, I decide which is exciting for you.

August is my preferred month because some stupid calendar assigned a name Leo to that month. More than that, this August was an expensive month for me where I went on to buy a watch, mobile, a laptop, a jeans, a shoe and an underwear. Finally I could avoid the sneers and jeers of people who looked at my Nokia 1112 super phone by going for a Samsung star 3G mobile.

Watch - Tommy Hilfiger
Mobile - I already said it
Laptop - Dell Inspiron 1545
Jeans - Levis 511
Shoe - Nike
Underwear - Local made Jockey


Looking at the list myself, I am finding that I am so rich a guy. But what you do not know is I will be using all those mentioned things till they are faded, broken, stolen or torn ( the last item).


I do not want to grill you by explaining the details of couple of goods that I've bought. But because I know you've got nothing to do than read whatever I dish here, I am going to provide couple of lines of review on my Mobile and Laptop. Watch you have already seen it and even if I explain you the difference between a quartz or a hand keyed watch you would understand in such a way that you are going to visit the wikipedia page on watch.


Samsung Star 3G mobile ( S5603) is the latest entrant into the market. Samsung Star was a hit and Star 3G comes with a dual camera is launched to bank on the gains. It contains a 3.2 MP camera and has a flash which was absent in Samsung Star. Star 3G has a meagre inbuilt memory of 70 MB which the phone comes loaded with and it is expandable uptp 16 GB. It is a touch phone. Even though the touch is not as smooth as iPhone, it is still fine. The display is touch smaller compared to Star.

Drawbacks: Not really other than the music clarity when played from the media player. Sound quality is good with the headphones. Samsung though is not known for their audio effects in their products.

Overall a good touch phone for a price of Rs 11,500/-.


Dell Inspiron 1545 is light weight and stylish looking. I would have loved to have the touch pad to be more sensitive. Sound clarity is fine. A 4 GB RAM, 250 Gb hard disk, Intel Core 2 Duo Processor with a Windows Vista Premium edition has punched a hole in my pocket which would let Rs 39,600/- to go through.

Drawbacks: I am touch worried about the battery life of this laptop. Battery charge is being consumed as fast as you suck juice from a draw.

For you new born babies, the advantage for taking a Premium edition instead of the basic edition is, Dell would be providing a free Windows 7 OS once launched into the market.


My adventures with new products have ceased for this year and it can probably open next year. As I type, I hear someone singing a song in the canteen for someones birthday party. Glad he finished the song in few seconds and received his fair share of claps. Atleast the useless month has turned useful to him in exhibiting his talent. Hoping the same here also.

When was the last time you showed off like I did here? Probably when you got a Camlin compass box in your school days.

The flu which has no clue

Swine flu is one of the dangerous of flue's in the 21st century. The last flu which had killed millions of people around the world was Hong Kong flu in 1968.

I was joking about Swine flu in one of my previous posts and looking at the pace this flu is extending its roots to most of the countries in the world, it is no longer considered a flu with minimal damage. It is here to stay. That is the subject for today. Write an essay on Swine flu in no more than -500 words.


Everyday when I see the front page of TOI, a new death case is reported and that causes some more panic in the minds of the people. The flu is red hot in Pune and the heat is felt in almost every part of the country. Scientists are coming up with a vaccine in November and I hope that will put an end to this flu misery.

People are buying N95 masks which is really not necessary. Yeah, N95 reminds of a Nokia phone. A three layered mask which has a longevity of 8 hrs can be used i.e, if you are pissing in your pants. Rock people like me can go and inhale like a sniffer dog without any concern.

Team mates are afraid if they see anyone coughing or sneezing in the office. They deliberately are trying to stay away from that freak. Everyone has a suspicious mind now and their eyes are wide open even when they are drunk.

Ayruvedic doctors are saying, Tulasi leaves can cure Swine flu. While that can be true, Tulasi can also be used to cure headache, body pain, cold, fever, cough, insomnia and retardness. We don't believe in our medicines is a well known fact. What we also don't believe is, one of us can also get affected with this deadly flu. The symptoms are as usual - cold, cough, throat pain, nausea, vomiting sensation and the no-affinity towards the short satisfaction.


It can be prevented by staying indoors by covering yourself in burkhas and staying 6 feet away from the flu affected person. Wash your hands regularly. You should cover your mouth and nose while coughing and sneezing so the virus does not travel like wild fire. Our body also has natural immunity to fight this shit and that is good news. Many cases can get cured and you can do your daily chores as usual after getting discharged.

Asthma patients and new born kids like me has to take proper care because they have better chance of contracting this H1N1 virus. Nobody knows which nut head acquired this from a certain pig and he only knows what activity he had involved into, that has resulted in a pig delivering the coup-de grace to him and the rest of the world. Pigs can also take revenge.

That is why I always advice to stay from animals. Next is what? Dog flu? Every dog has its day. Don't underestimate those hard working ants either which you enjoyed killing them in your childhood.


Authorities have finally realised the impact of this virus and are beginning to fight hard in controlling this epidemic. Few people are happily staying indoors and reading this essay to stay themselves light.

Few others I am travelling home for this Independence weekend and next weekend as well. And in the process I would be really testing my sniffer dog immunity.

Unforced Errors:

1. The guy sitting in front of the ladies bathroom in any office will be having hell of a time. He probably can keep track of how many times a girl men also had visited if he wants to.
2. Elsewhere in Montreal, Rogers cup is on and I heard Rafa is back in his sleeveless gear.
3. Some are afraid to put a mask as a precaution because it raises doubts as to whether she was infected or is she too concerned.
4. A man who has 'the opposite of bats' can always take a dig on women without any remorse.
5. I've seen many women covering their head and face with scarf especially while going on bikes. Initially I thought it was to avoid the pollutants but later I realised it was done to protect their make-up.
6. Two things should be arriving this week and wait for the pictures which I would be posting in my next post.
7. Starting your career in a start up company is always a better bet than starting in a MNC where you are treated like any other person.
8. Oflate I've started realising the same things which I've already realised before in my chaddi engineering days.
9. The last thing those pigs need is we giving the flu back to them.

Yet another Birthday is gone

The guy in discussion has just completed finished his birthday and is not on a high. No logic, yes.

You want to hear that I got cake pasted on my face on the previous night and we reveled? The first part was correct. Less of the cake was consumed and more was smeared on the attended dignitaries (my three room mates) for that event. I do make some die-hard fans during my course of life's journey and they do give a limb if I ask them. I mean mine, not theirs.


But it is nice of the bloke to get some cake for the night. During my childhood I was deprived of cake cutting and it is four times in two back to back years now. So it ain't fun anymore. My mom was telling that the last time I cut a cake with my family was when I was a 1 year old gentleman. That gives some hint on how we celebrate things in our own little way without much of fan fare and fuss.

Want to be a part of such a prestigious family? (Girls) Send in your nominations. Do not wait. If you think you have the thing in you, then you have arrived at the right place. Compensation? We have the best in the industry. Rewards and recognitions? We have been there and never done that. All it needs is a single arrow to hit the bulls eye even if you had 9 misses in your previous searches attempts. Get your evening gown ready and brace yourself to experience an opportunity of a lifetime.

One of my childhood astrologers said, I may get demented when I head to the donkey's age. I have to make sure that I do not give such an experience to my loyal visitors atleast in the blog i.e, if it hasn't been created already.


What are the resolutions as I change my diapers heading into a year which I think I will never travel again in my life? Eat well and sleep well. In addition to that, I am also planning to stay healthy by not abusing my dearest of lovely fans which I do sometimes when I am on a high.
Take care of my parents and visit temple regularly once in twelve months, that is on my next birthday again and stuff like that. For the next one, I will make sure that I will not take such complex resolutions.

Apart from birthday bash where one of my room mates disgustingly said, "Is this your birthday party?", I saw Love Aaj Kal. It is once watchable and less theatrical. "Main woh hoon, jo chah hoon" is the latest video that had attracted me in that movie. Life comes a complete circle in that video.

There is a t-shirt in Abercrombie and Fitch which one of my best friends said, it costs $60. Thanks mate for the verification. Please order that reindeer logo shirt if the ruthless visitors here do not buy it. They visit here and have a chuckle and gift nothing to this gifted writer.


How many times dint we buy stuff just for the logos / brands? I also like Audi logo and the car costs 60 lacs. Can I see anyone exclaiming here? No they don't coz it is out of reach of a common 9-6 working labour.

Rakhi is one festival which I never had any relation or attachment to. But when our maid's daughter tied it to all the miserable freaks who are living with us, I could understand for once the importance attached to this event and how deep the feelings would be between a real brother and a sister.

Now that you've known enough of my interests here and the relentless crap that I dish here, I wonder how long will you freaks be hanging here with an insane writer who does not know the difference between boasting and presenting the details. Probably till my next birthday? May be you will, if you and I are connected . I doubt.