Thursday, August 30, 2007

Lazy - Disinclined to activity or exertion

There are times with each one of us, where we might have felt L-A-Z-Y at sometime or the other, whether in office or house or at any place where you visited . At this point of time, I am precisely ...beeping...lazy about the stuff that's going around me and I resorted to blogging to spring in some action.

The subject today - you got it. If you din't, you are retarded. Do the following steps and you'd be on earth atleast, if not on moon, provided you don't over do these. Stretch your legs, puts your hands at the back of your head, look at the roof, listen to music ( no, no music, it makes you active) rest your head on the chair, turn your eyes left and right for once, take a deep breath and relax. You'd suddenly wonder how I wish this madly paced world would come to a grinding halt. It's good to relax and do things at your own pace and not over exert yourself. Leave the office things in the office. Work in the office itself is a burden ( it's not for me at this stage of my career, so that's why I am blogging ) and why the heck do you folks want to take those office things to your house as well, causing additional burden, venting your frustrations to the dearest ones around you? Because it is only on living things like pets, humans or even trees, that you want to throw your might on. So ,next time when you want to bully someone or when you feel like banging your monitor hard, so ...beeping ...hard that you can't even think of gluing it again and putting it back into shape for reuse, look yourself in the mirror - the serious, ugly, idiotic, jack- ass face ( and you thought you are the smartest and charismatic bloke on earth) and try throwing your might on yourself. Bet, you cannot sustain doing that for long. You'd be back to normal, quicker than when you had the intention on yelling at people around you.

Laziness is caused when people are complacent with their job, when they do not have any specific targets to achieve for the month, when you feel you had seen most things in life, when people are reluctant to move, when you are not guided by someone at your workplace or not properly taken care of, when you eat excessively, when you are fat and when you don't have specific interests in your life and etcetera. These are not facts of life taken from a life science journal but are things that are made out of introspection. Subject matter is going to strike again and again. So , to eliminate this bug, get busy with something.

And why am I preaching here like a dumb ass ? Because Laziness leads to frustration. Frustration is the mother of all disasters. So peeeooopull ( people ) , as I remind of my Italian friend in my graduation who had this peculiar way of saying 'people', I guess, a part of it comes with their language as well, if you feel like doing nothing in this world - start blogging, start browsing, make a phone call to a jerk who can talk at length, listen to music, run on the road ( read as jog) like a streaker on a cricket ground, watch porn, munch popcorn, try rapping (What's my name ??? doggieee......dogg) - engage yourself in some freaking activity that moves your presently firmly rooted feet. Let the thoughts in your brain flow as smoothly as girl's mane - wow, some rhyme there - don't make the brain sedate , don't get complacent. And if you do so, you'd feel you are well past your prime. You would start thinking, I was good in my past, but now, oflate I feel, I lost a touch of memory, I'm not as competitive as I used to be which would make you lethargic and am I not starting all over again, damn.

And did we talk about jack ass before ? How often we become or been forced into one? I was 'Lazy' in booking my air ticket from Delhi to Hyderabad by one day. I was excited to find a cheaper fare yesterday and I delayed booking the ticket thinking, ah ...let me book tomorrow. Now I end up paying more than double the offer price today. And boy, I became one today !

Friday, August 24, 2007

Crib and cricket

What am I doing here when the match between India and England is going to start in 15 minutes ? Crib on others,and that's the topic for today. So you folks can decide at the outset itself, whether to go ahead with the reading or not. Remember, cribbing is one of the pillars on which this blog stands on? For other pillars, go and check your house basement.

And just as other colleagues, I too happened to apply for a product through our company.
Reason: We get it like 25 % off on the market price on the product. ( Oops,trade secret revealed...) Lesson: When you get cheap things, they for sure, 1. Consume your time 2.Test your patience. If you are a kungfu,karate,taekwondo fighter, you want to knock their...beep...off,those people who behave as if they are the Masters and we are the Slaves. Politeness and dignity hardly matter in this part of the world. You are rich, talkative, rustic, bohemian ( and dumb ass ) natured - The answer - Sir, yes sir, anything for you Sir. Soft, cultured, naive and 'he is also a human - let him treat that way' attitude - Sir, all rules for you Sir. I can never understand this disparity between people - laurels for one and rules for the other. Now you know why we are light years behind the Western world despite the media projecting us as,'Yeah, we are inching closer'. We pretend to be fair, but damn, we don't because we cannot. And life goes on.

Yesterdays movie, what's that, I even forgot the name. Oh yeah, Transformers - Spielberg, one of the executive producers. No, it's not Spielberg's name ,that has driven me to the movie, but my colleagues bike did ( attempted joke ) . I went on his bike straight from work. First half was alright.Second half could have been better.The story: Fight between Protectors and Destroyers, both being aliens. Our Sam has a secret that was targetted by the Destroyers that could allow them to be superpowers of the world and our Protectors, do what, Protect the world from destruction.The official name for protectors and destroyers is different in the movie.
Sam saves the world by not letting the cube for which the destroyers are after. Everyone is happy but the audience are not.There were only 10 people in the theater yesterday including the theater care takers. Graphics are fine, climax is predictable. Movie is for 2.5 hours which I felt was longer than long enough. When it comes to movies, I am a critic first. And you talk of any Hollywood movie, all the disasters happens only in USA and around, and its only they who can protect the world with their sophisticated technology ,weapons and stealth bombers. Now, dont ask me, what about 9/11 ?!

Alrightey mates, gotta go, nice weekend. Indian openers are calling. Sachin is trying his best to score a century today as I glance the online scorecard and if he does that, we are going to lose again today !

Monday, August 20, 2007

The weekend blog

Although I am here not to please anyone, I am trying to sound a bit pleasing to the readers as I was restrained in using the dreaded four letter word , by my friends. I instead use the sound ....beep... as a replacement to that. So whenever I want to use the famous four lettered word, I'd rather say ....beeeeepppp.....Curtailed with the freedom I would still try to maintain the intensity in the blog, nevermind, you freaking ...beeepers....

There is a movie called 'Marigold' with Salman Khan in the lead role. Well, if you don't know who that bloke is I've got a wonderful chance to describe him now. This 5 foot something midget, whom we lovingly call as 'tingu', who hardly wears a shirt in the songs, who shakes his chest and butt rigorously with hands running over his own chest ( btw, his only dance move till date ), will be trying to woo a foreigner in this movie. It's normally the heroines in the movie who would be wearing high- heel sandals to match the height of the heroes, but in his case, its him who would be trying the high heeled shoes but still falling short of the height and comes below the heroines eyes. He is the ever so - trying to act - cool dude in Bollywood giving an impression to the outside world that girls are dying for him at every street corner slitting their wrists.

Now as far as the movie is concerned, I was fooled by the print and the electronic media that it is a Hollywood movie. That is the only point which has driven me to the movie. There is only one foreign actress and the rest of the casting is desis. I got to know that the director and the production team is from Hollywood, but then if it is from hollywood, why do we have songs and dance numbers in the movie...beep....? Of all the actors why do they have to choose Salman Khan...beep...? Is he the best of the lot ? Or given any day, is he the best dancer ever, even if you wake him up in the middle of the night? There will not be any answers to these but the only answer I got for myself is, I was forced to watch a disaster. A gruelling and painstakingly directed movie for 2 hours.

It's even more disgusting because I went with a male colleague of mine and I happened to see couples kissing passionately in the theater. The couple sitting to my left and the one sitting in my front row were merrily making it out. No chance to see anything of that sort to my right because it was my colleague sitting there. At the intermission, it was me and my colleague who stood up to go out for a break and believe me, no one else in the theater was interested for the break. Everyone is cosy in their seats with their mates and suddenly seemed like the Intermission is an interruption to them. We like to do everything in the dark as kissing in public is not allowed in India. So after the break we changed our places to the front row where there were no people so that we can concentrate only on the movie rather than the public display of affection ( PDA) . The couples got their moneys worth but not for us. And once the lights were off after the break, the PDA goes on again !

Friday, August 17, 2007

Tour snippets

After writing the previous blog for almost two hours, (yeah, you read it right) taking my own time in correction and updating the links, I decided I should give a week's break. But now inspired by cricinfo blogs at this 14 hundredth hour ( 2PM to those whose left brain is dormant ), - "inspired" is a beautiful word to surrogate plagiarism; I just can't wait to write an other blog. In this case I got inspired to write an other blog, but not the beautifully carved inspired in the quotes I just referred to.

During my golden triangle tour I had seen couple of instances which I found were amusing. 1. A rickshaw puller in Jaipur dropped a foreigner at a place and asked fifty rupees for his service. This white foreigner had a bizzare expression on his face, literally conveying , wha' da ...(beep).. ?? Immediately the rickshaw puller's colleague came to his rescue and said, He know - no english, it is fifteeenn, no fiftyyy, fifteeen....And this stranger breathed a sigh of relief. 2. Again, a foreigner, a white foreigner. Yes, we are so freaking obsessed with the colour white, that if you telecast an ad in TV which says, cow shit turns you fair in 4 weeks we would be up for the challenge, painting our faces with that shit, sleeping the whole night and waiting for the next night. So this foreigner after getting out of the rickshaw was waving his credit card to the rickshaw puller and seemed like asking him, Do you accept credit cards? Little did that rickshaw fellow know about the usage of credit card, I suspect. Had he known that he would have said ' Yes' and would have sprinted from there in no time. Next time our intelligent foreigner would be thinking twice to even book air tickets on his credit card.

Oh yes and the traffic jam. How can I forget that ?! We were on our way back to Delhi and we got stuck in a traffic jam at the vastly and the fastly developing city,Gurgaon ( the millennium city as they dearly say) It was like what, we travelled 2 - 3 kilometers in that beautiful slow ride for two hours at 10 pm and we were pissed off. Even more, when we reached the end of the traffic jam, there were police barricades stopping each and every vehicle, looking at the faces of the passengers in the cars and why ? The next day is August 15th, the Indian Independence day ! Lesson learnt: Neva' eva' travel the night before Aug 15th, in and around Delhi.

Talking again about the beautifully etched "inspiration", did somebody say genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration? We software engineers just do the opposite.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Golden Triangle trip

Finally I got a chance to visit the places around Delhi after being here for 9 months - the tourist heavyweights in India, The Taj Mahal in Agra, Jaipur in Rajasthan and the local sight seeing of Delhi. These three places put together as the Golden Triangle is one huge money spinner for the country as well as the localites, who do their best to empty your pockets and fill in theirs. The distances are almost equal and you can call it as an equilateral golden triangle with each side making upto 250 kms. Angles between the sides here is not exactly 60 degrees for you math freaks. In English, Delhi - Agra is 250 kms, Agra - Jaipur is approximately the same and Jaipur - Delhi is again 250 kms. Now you get the point and so do I, as I started the blog straight on the point because I know that it will be long ass blog from now on. Brace yourself.

Note: If you are clicking on the links and are bombarded with spam, I am no least bit responsible for it.

After our round of Delhi sightseeing with India gate ,Qutab Minar, Mahatma Gandhi memorial and Indira Gandhi memorial hogging the limelight, we had taken rest for the day and headed to Agra the next day. We also got to see Mathura, the birth place of Lord Krishna on our way and we reached the Taj Mahal at 4 pm. Its magnificent, the first impression. The beautiful thing with the Taj more than itself, would be your picture. Any living or dead object captured infront of Taj looks lively. Taj is made of white marble and the quality of marble is different for different parts which I felt was a smart move. For example, the base was constructed with marble from India and as you progress up towards the tomb and other shit,(I dont know the terms) the marble used was an imported one. Cost cutting was present even then and why not, when you are taking of a giant monument for love called, the Taj.

It would take couple of hours to absorb its beauty and the gentle breeze from the river Yamuna will let you savor the moment, even more if you are holding the hand of your opposite sex. As I went with my family we headed to Jaipur, saving those extra minutes of mine. We night halted at Jaipur. It was like 11pm by the time we reached there considering that Agra - Jaipur highway is under construction, which is scheduled to become a four lane highway, by the end of sometime frame, possibly before the next elections. In India we dont follow the deadlines strictly, because every deadline has an extended deadline.

Next morning we headed to the Pink city, called Jaipur. It's called pink not because of gays if any, there, but because of the pink and red brick colour of the city walls at the historical places. The Amer fort or the Jaipur fort rocks. If you haven't seen a fort or presuming that you've seen those little fort like structures and termed them as a fort, then you gotta see this. This one is for real and you may not only get lost with the beauty of it but may also lose your way while your excitement to explore the fort doesn't stop. Its situated right in the center and surrounded by small mountains and the sheer extension of the boundary wall of the fort on all the neighboring mountains is breathtaking. A sense of solidarity will creep into your itinerary after seeing the Hawa Mahal ( the palace of the winds ) and the grand Jaipur museum. You'd feel ah okay, I am full and satisfied today with my tour, than those few minutes of satisfaction which you would normally experience elsewhere.

The best way to go through this tour is to book a cab with 4 or 5 people so it costs less per head, or you better take government organised travels which would come to 1800 Rs per head, for Indians. Yeah we have different prices for Indians and foreigners. The entry ticket for the Taj is Rs 20 ( half a US dollar ) + Rs 50 for the camera, for brownies (Indians) and for foreigners including whites and blacks, it is 750 Rs. ( Work on it you math folks 1 USD = 40 INR ). approximately.

I am feeling if I am taking a mock essay test today as if TOEFL is round the corner. My mom, after the trip and moments before departing from Delhi, seemed like she learned the art of holding her tears back . But my grandmom couldn't !


Friday, August 10, 2007

Belated Birthday gift

So I came to the office thinking how to get tickets for 'Chak De India' which was released today. The promos are promising and the movie is expected not to have that regular Bollywood glitz and glamour, for a change ! Not a Speilberg storyline and for the fact that this is Bollywood ..Oops... Indian Film Industry ( as Harsha Bhogle was corrected by Sunny in yesterday's post match cricket session) the climax was predicted even before the light boy has switched on the light.Our womens hockey team is in doldrums, and our Hero ( Shah rukh Khan ) comes as coach and propelled by his coaching techniques and inspiring speeches, we go on to win the World Cup..yeahhh ! Anything lesser than that is rejected by the audience.

And to the point now, I celebrated my birthday last week and it was a small gathering of some sort. My colleagues enjoyed the bhangra music ( the ever so happening perennial Punjabi beats, even I am liking it now , huh) at the eatery and we pushed off at 10pm. I neither receive gifts nor I gift anyone. Why should I ? Gifting is such a dirty habit ( my view, remember ) that everytime you receive one you have to compensate with a better one ! There is no end to this. Because he gave something to me, I have to give it back ...and most of the times you do it without conviction. So I better announce the world, right here, right now, that I dont give gifts but its feels good accepting gifts.

This colleague of mine came and said HI today. I asked him, what's present in the cover......Oh you did shopping while coming to the office, Cool man, I said. Yes, I have an Indian accent. Why the heck are you bothered ?! After a bit of conversation he was leaving the place leaving the polyethene bag ( we say it cover, for you native English speaking folks ) on the table and I called him, your cover ( which has a t-shirt). And he said, it is for you.....I said, what ??? He said yeah, for you, I felt like gifting you on your birthday but I couldn't. Stop your damn dirty thoughts right here. We both are straight. Its my first surprise birthday gift and its a T-shirt ! As I said, it felt good to receive and nice of him.

India is on the ascendancy today in the last test match against England, so Rahul Dravid can redeem himself some pride that was lost in the WC. I cannot explain cricket to you if you dont know the game or love the game. Freaking fault of yours. I am trying different fonts while posting the blog, so bear with it, while I finalise on one. And you know what, my Orkut's todays fortune says: I am a person of culture !

Thursday, August 09, 2007

My first blog


Well folks, welcome to my first ever blog. It doesn't need a formal inauguration as I just did, but to make you feel welcome like home and to enjoy your stay here, I had to say it ! Welcome onboard to 'justcandidtalk.blogspot.com'


Hailing from India you might find my references to Cricket which is considered as religion in India, not anymore after the disgraceful exit from World Cup 2007. My reason for blogging,
nothing in particular, but I was bitten by the blog bug oflate. Just to type shit and see if I can also do, just as any other blogger in this world. Nice way to kill boredom and with the feedback that you blokes give in , I could decide whether I should go on or not. Eh.....but if the feedback is negative I am surely going to blog till I get it right. So you get the point !

You may find objectionable words or references here and there, but if you are reading this blog or any for that matter, you gotta be ready for anything .

Considering that there are no rules for blogging, this is a place to relax, vent your frustrations, share your views, narrate your experiences, crib on others what not, you are the King here !