Reason 1: Around 10,000 Scientists are conducting some experiment in Geneva. Of those, 30 are Indians it seems. They are conducting a neutron - proton sort of experiment in a reactor failing which, will trigger a collision similar to the Big Bang theory that you've studied in your school days. Threat: Anything can happen in 3- 4 weeks. Reasoning: Acceptable.
Reason 2: Scientists were conducting an experiment to judge the age of the earth. Experiment is being conducted inside the earth with a nuclear bomb planted somewhere in the middle of the earth (May be under your building from where you are reading this post) failing which, the bomb would explode and hence a nuclear reaction triggering a massive scale devastation in the world. Fortunately there are no Indian scientists here. Time for cinema actor Balakrishna to step in and rescue the world. Threat: Only today. Reasoning: Rumour with a humour.
I got a call from yesterday night from a trusted source saying that tomorrow will be the last day. So I'm calling my near and dear ones and you too should call. That trusted source is on project Rover, which is on a mission to Mars and from there I received a text message. You are called mentally challenged freaks because you believe in everything I speak here.
My last wish would be to finish my SRS document for the current project and wait in anticipation that my next appraisal would be better than this year's result. Even if I am the last one surviving on this planet, I would like to send an e-mail with this document as an attachment to my superior. I do not mind if it's only my right hand that is remaining after every body part becoming dysfunctional after the nuclear attack. All I need is a PC with an internet connection at broadband speed. Now you understand my work dedication and commitment to the people with whom I am associated with.
You can start fulfilling your unfulfilled wishes starting from today till 2019. Now here is a valid reason that will make you think twice about, What if the world suddenly comes to an end ? Check the link here if you still don't believe me. Stop pissing in your pants and live life to the fullest. That thing twice a day and load of chocolates regularly should keep you happy, as told by one famous Hollywood actress.
For the interested, here are the official links about the project (Large Hardon Collider) and the myths associated with it. About the project. The Big picture. Project homepage. Best and worst case scenarios. Myths and news.
Think of it. What would you want to do if you know that, today is going to be your last day. Call everyone? Cry loudly? Pray God? Withdraw all your money from all the stupid accounts and enjoy till the last penny? Visit Babydolls for one last time? Meditation won't be so bad to test you concentration at this hour. Take revenge on your foe? Do social service till you are alive ? Compile the stupid code? Crash your monitor really for once without thinking twice to vent your frustration on your inability to code? Engage in a no-holds barred laugher at your dumb Manager right in front of him? Kiss your loved ones for one last time? Take blessings from your parents? Or like me, finish off the pending work and send one last e-mail to your boss with your trademark e-mail sign off signature?
My unshaven beard for 10 days has already started itching. This probably is the first sign for the dooms day. You must have already heard my famous quote which fits the bill to the tee in any context for any situation. If you haven't here it is again for you to note it down in bold in your bird brain. You can only run, but you cannot escape.
4 comments:
Hey, nice one man!That was quite a sarcastic attempt. If the world is really going to end, there's nothing anyone can do but to pray. Yeah, Balakrishna may be handy and also Hollywood's many heroes who saved the earth from destruction. On the other hand, I feel that the end has already begun. When we just look around us, we see so many people dying. Somewhere floods ravage a whole state, in others Hindus kill Christians in the name of protecting religious interests, terrorists bomb out innocents. People killing their own brethren for no good reason! Needless to say, End of Days is coming!
Your blog on Armageddon was very good mastaru.would rate it 9/10.
Was there any particular reason that you happened to write it just before 9-11.Did u believe 1% that it would happen?
Every scenario has got Balayya involved, be it funny or serious.
When talking about Indian scientist working in NASA or Geneva, Hero who would have to rescue the world or when talking about mentally challenged freak. Just one name pops out immediately. Thanx to the Industry.
Time to shave of ur beard and have fun:)
Thanks mastaru. I did not realise I posted it one day before 9/11 till you said it. If 9/11 happens again, I guess this time there would be no survivors.
Balayya is omnipresent. Balayya can live without the world but the world cannot live without him. Gem of an extra terrestrial freak who descended from outer space to provide some entertainment for the survivors left after watching his movies. And yeah, I'm clean now.
Ur welcome mastaru.
Agree that Balayya is an extra terrestrial freak who tries to defy logic,gravity,reality,...
His fans would disagree obviously. small ex: one of his movie had a scene where he would thump his thigh to make the train go back and the chair come towards him. I guess they would argue that Balayya had some sensor chip in his thigh,chair and the train which the audience failed to understand the logic.now this would sound even more funnier.
Lucky to have been survived.
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