Bend it with marriage

We had few marriage invitations circulated in the last two weeks of November. There will be a good number of those coming in the month of February. While this will be the onset of a new beginning for the newly wed, it will be a upset for his single friend with whom he spent most of this time with. Once married, then starts the inevitable chapter in every man's life - bending.

The guy is pretty excited to start and experiment new things with his wife. He infact shows off that he was engaged for more than six months and teases his friends that they are not hooked up with any girl. As the D day nears by, he buys a Tv, fridge, double cot bed and a sofa to please the 'soon to become the Home Minister' wife. He splits from his bachelor friends and may even ignore the bachelors party citing that he doesn't have time and money to throw a party. But he has those two in abundance for shopping.


The guy takes a three leave from the work, finishes of the final round of shopping and sets off to his hometown for marriage. Pleasantries exchanged, all the arrangements made by the parents and may be even given a royal treatment by his in-laws. Amidst this chaos, he will forget the most important chapter bending he once was aware of. The confidence that life will be bed of roses with that new beginning would be gushing and everything else looks minuscule to the decorated wife at the occasion.

Event is over successfully. Both parties - all smiles. Gifts opened. (Non) Working wife takes a look around at her new house.

Day 1: Does not like too many people following her all the way from her husband's hometown to her new house where they would be residing for few days. Swallows it and doesn't express herself.

Day 2: Bottled up feelings emanate and vents her frustration over the people at her husband. Guy is both in love with mom and her wife. Can't choose a side.

Day 3: Doesn't talk well with his relatives and starts playing mind games with her in-laws. The guy invites his friends but she responds to them in a shocking manner saying, " You people don't get married so soon". A puzzled look by the guy at her wife but nothing more than that he can do.

Day4: Disconsolate guy's parents head home wishing him good luck. The guy remembers the forgotten chapter. Left are the newly wed bride and groom at the place to carry on the relationship for the rest of their lives. Begins to wonder if he is becoming a bunny.


He comes back from the office. She doesn't know cooking. Her mom never let her enter into the kitchen. No worries, I know cooking. She doesn't know how to wash clothes even with the aid of a washing machine. No worries, I can take care of it. (Guy begins to worry about her co-operation in the bed). She whines to her parents that she is all alone and home sick. Guy cannot find an answer to this. So takes her to movies in the weekend regularly to mitigate her loneliness. Saturday and Sunday is a strict no-no to cook in the house. What are outside restaurants for ?

After a month wife learns to cook. He will appreciate it but immediately recollects the delicious cooking done by his mom to which he used to find fault with, in his singlehood days. He starts to cook. Pays the bills. Takes care of her saree dry-cleaning. And feels freaking proud that his wife is the best when she doesn't berate him in an evening party.


The guy confirms the once heard chapter which he is experiencing now. Advices his friends to life to the fullest before marriage. He starts talking to his married friends only. Feels uncomfortable to share his feelings to his 'single' friends. A moment of hell is experienced when he cannot share with anyone what he feels in the aftermath of marriage.

The life cycle beings and he is lost in it totally. He eventually finds solace when his new born child holds his little finger after he returns from the office. That said, he realizes after few heavenly moments pre and post marriage, it will all be a one-way traffic.

PS: Title credit goes to my good friend. Story narrated is not really fictional.

Women shopping with men

I actually was getting bored with my three day off this weekend. So what did I do? Turned up to the office regularly on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Today is our company's Annual day and hence off. There can be some after effects if you turn up as late as 7 pm on a Saturday night to your office. Our security guard quipped,"Sir, you are entering the office when everyone is actually leaving". What is my dumb retort ? Instead of saying no this, no that, no movie, no shopping I said,"Yeah, I live closeby. So I have no problem coming", with a wtf smile.

So I asked my good friend, Jack, over the mail about whatz the weekend like. He said, he made the biggest mistake ever in life. Ladies cannot even guess it. Gentlemen would not like to repeat it. The mistake: He went for shopping with a girl who is a friend of his. And this is how the conversation was build up. It was a very quick conversation coz it started off with girls. We are always excited about these topics. Woo-hoo!

Me: Watz the weekend like for you?

He: Yeah, a very irritating weekend! I made the mistake of accompanying a female friend to shop in the commercial street. Boy, it aint at all easy shopping with girls. They pick ten clothes, try five, narrow down on two and finally buy none.

And the worse thing is, they ask which ones we liked and are dead against the one that we like the most. Its like telling us that our taste is very bad. When I told her the same thing, she replied that I do select very nice dresses. Yeah, its true, but I have selected that dress which she already decided to buy – hence my taste is good! Glee!

He further adds,

"You cant win an argument with two people – one, a lunatic, and two, a woman!"

I did not have the privilege that he had till now. But I still could respond with the little experience I've had so far.

Me: He he he...that was funny and you narrated in a nice way. But women would love to shop their clothes with a man. I think they find it romantic and we find it lunatic.

You realised it quite fast man and you are already bowing to woman's wishes. Ha ha ha...I know you did it not to offend her. But do you expect them to return the same favour? If you show her what you like, she says that it is bad with a blank face and will stick to it for all the money in the world. What will you do now? You throw that out in frustration in the change room and will totally drop the idea of shopping that day.

He nods and says,

He: Your perception is very much right! The best way is to let her shop on her own and we shop on our own. Remember that marriage joke in which a guy says that he and his wife have the best dinners – she goes on Tuesdays and he on Fridays.


Jack finishes off by saying,

" Somehow, guys don’t take so long to shop! Or rather, so long to decide what to buy! But women run from closet to closet, shop to shop before they buy. We have one bag and many clothes whereas they have many bags with a cloth piece each in one ".

Next time Jack would be wary of shopping with women again. And I, would drop the whole idea of shopping at the outset itself. Jack and Rock lived happily ever after.