April 1st fools day

Not always you get a rousing reception like this to my post. But today whoever you are, from whatever part of the world, a huge welcome to the April fools community! I am sure you and your neighbour must have become a jackass more than once in your life and atleast once on this day. Just turn around and see how pathetic he/she looks in her profile view. I was the victim once in my teenage and to top the list wonder who fooled me? It's my grandmother. She woke up early in the morning and she was trying to wake me up with those spiritual discourses that you get in your Tv early morning. I was giving a deaf ear to those and continued sleeping like a log. To wake me up and fool me early in the morning at 7 she played a prank.
She said: "Your friend has come to take a book. Get up and give it."

I quickly took my blanket off, one hop on to the ground and went rushing to the door to see who that person was. No one. On my way back to the room I saw my grandmom coming and she said, Today is April 1st. Blank expression on my face. And I knew I became one for life that day.

Hey you, you one alien freaking visitor to my blog, yes you wonly, do share your experiences if you've got any on this day. Your day to day hassles and becoming dumb jerk every day, we all knew it. You can ignore those things. Wonly on April 1st if you got any, just share and get back to your sweet past. I am kind enough to publish it after moderation.

What your online Bible wikipedia - the stories, the pranks, 100 best ways in the world how people got fooled - says on April 1st?

Having said that you are most likely to become an idiot if you are extremly cautious not to become a fool on this day. So the best thing is to let go things by and not become excessively worried. Well, who the heck is worried you say? You were like this in your school days. Now people don't have time to talk to you. So you don't have to worry. Not even your once - best friends - have time for you. You have such a miserable life. Get out of it and have fun.

Okay, I think it's enough of these stuff to make you a retard. Fooling a person in front of one or many has been the norm for quite sometime. How about online fooling? You have to look at this to get rid of that embarassment. How can a person fool you online? You really have to be a dumb ass to get fooled that way. I definitely cannot become one online. Well, I anyways have tips that you can read and avoid becoming totally stupid in front of this lifeless computer. The last thing you need is your PC having a giggle at you and your foolish ways of doing things. For those smart people who has got time, I've this 101 ways of fooling document. You can download this for free and send it as an attachment to who you think are your friends or foes.

I don't know why I am posting this fools day article on March 31st, a day before the D day. But it's worth a try to fool one before he takes his guard against others. Pic of the day can be seen below.



I hope this pic will atleast put your bunny teeth outside for a while before it's tucked behind your lips.

Year end result

It's the end of the financial year and everyone can breathe a sigh of relief. I don't think I fall into the said category as it is always too less to do for me. It doesn't mean I am serious working pig so that is why I could get away with an average rating for this year. For those people who slog in and out and still end up with a moderate rating, will only know how to work the coming financial year. When you don't get credit for what you've done, Daddy used to keep quiet. But not this generation blokes. You can only grunt like this beautiful creature.

A neck deep drowned thoughtful working pig

This is the maximum thing that many can do at their work place or most people would do I shall say. Not happy with something, grunt.

I do feel restless this March and I can find out the reason. I don't feel somebody has to come up to me and say, boy, this is the reason why you are restless. Something is up on the cards that defies your imagination? Nope. You feel you are cornered, you feel you are helpless, you feel you are forcibly turning sick? Are you getting what I am trying to bark in here? If you don't, ok, I don't want to be rude with you (the rare visitor to my blog). It's that you want to crash that monitor feeling again. Or better, someone selling you down the river. Ah I see, you should change depending on the environment and the people around you. Really? To what extent?

FAQ's on Federer

Roger has lost semifinal clash at Indianwells '08 to Mardy Fish. He hasn't won a title yet this year. This for sure is going to haunt Roger and his fans alike. I made a set of questions that fans may want to ask Roger. Imagine an expert sitting on the other side of the table and answering the questions thrown by fans. Nothing is official. The interview below is the result of my imagination.

Moderator: Questions please.......

Q) What does this victory mean to Mardy Fish ?
A) It means he has just won his first Grandslam title.

Q) Why is Fish so sub-dued after the win?
A) Because he himself could not believe the end result.

Q) Has he got any realistic chance of repeating the same again?
A) Yes, if Roger plays in a wheel chair.

Q) Is this the end of the road for Roger?
A) Most definitely yes.

Q) Can Roger make a comeback?
A) Definitely NO.

Q) Why are non Roger fans so happy to write Roger off?
A) Because they got bored seeing Roger on top for the past four years.

Q) You know, it hurts to read that Roger is on a path of destruction?
A) Imagine how other tennis players would have felt when Roger has given them the same.

Q) So who officially can be the heir to Roger's throne?
A) It is that cocky 20 year old kid from Serbia, Novak Djokovic. It is his season, atleast this year.

Q) Can he do a Roger Federer by winning 12 Grandslam titles?
A) He has the potential. If he keeps his game and head intact he can set that unlucky 13 for Roger as a benchmark for his career.

Q) Will Roger finally accept that Novak can replace him on top?
A) No, he will never accept that. He still insists Rafael Nadal can reach him.

Q) Why is Nole also sub-dued when he defeated Rafa at Indianwells '08?
A) Because Nole knows it's a matter of time before he knocks Rafa from his preferred hard court surfaces.

Q) Is Nole slowly getting matured?
A) He surely is getting there.

Q) So will he be likeable by the fans and critics alike?
A) His results will speak for himself from now on.

Q) Why is no one talking about Rafa in the same breathe as Novak?
A) Because he never really was a contender for the number one slot.

Q) Why are Roger and Rafa friends even in these troubled times?
A) What are friends for !

Q) What is the ultimate humilation for Roger?
A) Losing his Wimbledon 2008 throne to the person he is reluctant to hand over and whom he dislikes the most (Novak Djokovic)

Q) Will Roger be happy to stay at any slot other than number one?
A) Never.

Q) So is he going to do a Borg? Retire from tennis at the young age of 26?
A) Nope. Roger is hungry and greedy. He reiterated many times that he would like to continue till 2012 and then decide from there on.

Q) So is Roger going to experience upsets quite often?
A) It won't be called an upset anymore. Roger has lost his invicibility factor ever since Nole stepped on the scene.

Q) What is the most scariest sight for Roger now?
A) The sight of any ATP qualified professional practising tennis (thinking that they might defeat him).

Q) We as Roger fans still cannot believe he is on a downward slope?
A) Because you are still sleeping and dreaming.

Q) So is it high time for Roger to hire a coach?
A) Your guess is as good as mine.

Q) Can we expect a Roger - Mirka break up?
A) Don't be surprised if you get to hear that news.

Q) Can Roger make a comeback please?
A) Yes he can. Being the champion player he is, he has to show some mettle and the house can be restored. He has to get back to the drawing board, play lesser tournaments, slow down his rate of losses and gain some confidence. Tai-chi, Power yoga and Taekwondo can help him crash few computer monitors and glass plates to get the losses out of his system. Most importantly he has to really accept and welcome new kids on to the scene.

Q) Is it that simple to bring things back on track?
A) It is quite easy to say to keep things simple but the complicated thing is to keep them simple.

Holi

Holi means holi-day which is a holiday. So it's a long weekend for us. Three days off and what are the freaking activities that you are going to do? Or am I going to do? Go to practice court and work your ass off. That's only in tennis and I am ready to put my 100% there. Other areas I always try to put 99.99%. If you come back to holi again, it's again a festival, this time I don't know the history and I could avert blogging it's history. Default story for most Hindu festivals in India: A daemon was killed by a God on that day and people celebrate that thing with honor. I've done the Google thing for you and this your holi link. Note: I haven't read what's in that link and don't scratch your brain for an answer as how I got that link without reading it. To make the blog colorful I am also adding a pic.


Holi means a colorful festival

I might get a bashing again if I utter a word of tennis here. Off to the clay court in the evening is what I am going to do this weekend. No more no less. And I shall be back to office on Monday and should be wondering how these three holidays have just flew past, which everyone had been longing for quite a while.

Random observations:
1. If it's a long weekend people are into a holiday mood from the day before the holidays start.
2.Call centre girls, whom we oogle everyday, on an average are taller and fatter than software girls. Conclusion: Girls with technical background are boring to watch than your commerce/arts background girls.
3.We were served an extra sweet in our lunch by the canteen fellows on account of Holi.
4. A huge of pile of travelling bags were stuffed in the room opposite to reception because of this long weekend.
5. I am developing technical roadblocks on either side of my ear since I started working here. As I type so are my typing skills sliding like an avalanche on the Himalayan glaciers.

6. Girls do still look at me but just as Roger's invincibility factor has been diminishing so is my charming factor.
7. People who make more noise at work are the most likely to be termed, efficient at work, which I beg to differ.
8. You don't make any friends in the office. You only make colleagues.
9. (Point nine should shine...dig your brain deep Rock) The last time I strikingly remember celebrating Holi was in our Bachelor days, where we went to a girls house and put colours to her. (Sweet)

After finishing counting sheep in my dreams just now, I just can't wait to get my hands on my new tennis racket which might arrive this month end. I badly want to improve my game. Time permitting I just want to stretch myself to see the way I progress in the game. Oh yes, that customary tradition of putting colours to the seniors in the office and all the employees might just begin as I see the tray of colours being taken. The one freaking colour that is often used to splash on a Holi day is pink. That is random observation number ten. And I am done.

Sordid weekend

My last couple of posts have been tennis-centric. So I am trying this one not to be. Indianwells tournament has just begun and Roger is to open his account starting today. Novak did not have a easy run in his first match. We don't want to talk about Rafa and his bouncing (tennis) ball - high over the net - which is ungainly to watch. This slow pace court at Indianwells might suit his style than anyone and he has come here this year to defend the title. Roger was knocked in the second round by Guillermo Canas last year and he is feeling fit after being treated for mononucleosis, which he claims, could have hampered his AO 2008 journey at SF itself. I am eligible to use abbreviations and it's upto you to figure them out. My stint with tennis for three days for an hour each day has shown little improvement in my game. Serve is not coming but shoulder pain is. I've served out a basket of 70 odd balls and 35 of them may have crossed the net. Out of 35, how many have fallen on the correct side of the line, did not count. It got extended till this long when I tried this post not to be tennis centric. Dog's tail can never be straightened. Why ?

We got shifted to a new house. This was one of the mini resolution that was planned early this year. So it kind of worked. It's big, it's huge for four freaking bachelors. Rent is hefty too. But this is the time to splurge around. Once you are tied up you can only goof up. I don't have a camera mobile. Or else I would have proudly posted the pictures of our palace with the kitchen. I am not really a miser to buy a cam mobile but now I don't have interest. That will settle some ugly doubts nurtured in some stupid minds. Out of the blue - tomorrow, manic Monday, hasn't started and I am already thinking of the long weekend this coming week - out, out of the blue.

While I was in a rickshaw returning from practice, there was this young kid who was driving it and he took me for the ride back home. It was interesting conversation to know the mind of a rickshaw puller. This bloke borrowed 1000 Rs from his dad and he is repaying it by running a rickshaw. I asked his age and he said he was 15. He earns 100 Rs a day at 15. To drive in this traffic, he also needs muscle and confidence to drag his three wheeler all through the city, which I felt he had. Tough one. I din't feel good coz I was exploiting child labour but I wouldn't have know these facts had I not taken his ride. I asked what would be his next plan. He said, once I repay the money, my dad and I will open a kiosk in some part of the city. And I asked him, will you be happy with that? He said, "whatever we earn that is enough to make us happy. I don't have to worry about the traffic and accidents". Slap on the face for all those who are running madly behind millions of dollars and wanting that extra material thing which you are NOT going to take after your brief period of action on this planet. Save the planet, save the people and make those complicated minds look simple.

Tracking tennis

Sounds as if I am the coach of Roger, who currently is in the hunt for one. Just goes to show the standard he has set for himself and he getting knocked out of Dubai open in the first round is creating one heck of news in the tennis world. The media, the people and the critics are gunning their pens waiting for his downfall in a spiralling fashion.He is the victim of his own success. People expect him to win every point and tournament he steps into. Another victim who falls in this cadre is, Sachin Tendulkar. Now you freaks know why I don't try to work too hard.

Tracking tennis has become a daily habit now apart from cricket. The fact that I am also holding a racket and passing some ripping cross court winners in my mind and clipping the net on court is keeping me glued to this sport for sometime now. I lift my right hand, throw the ball up - the throw goes too high and back when I get ready to put racket on to it - no put the racket down, catch the ball and toss it again. Try one more time but this the time the toss goes forward and have to catch it again. Third time lucky, toss is perfect and angle of the bat is correct but the ball hits the net. Do this two times correctly and your shoulder joint pains. Aww...poor thing. I complain about my shoulder to my coach. Shoulder pain? (You unfit freak and you want to play advanced level quite fast eh , he must have thought but said)May be you are playing after few days break. Thanks atleast you were there to console me. Lesson: In pain maintain self restrain...

Vantage Point was boring initailly but picked up the pace in the later half. So worth a watch. Joke of the day - A Manager to his employee. " Morrison, your fantastic performance through this year will not be forgotten , it's just that you dont get paid for it". This could be the employee's expression.

A more enlarged version of the weird face can be see at the corner.I found this picture on the web. Everytime I see this I break into a giggle. It conveys no expression, no joy, no anguish, no pain, no innocence nothing. It can get as blank as it can get. I had one of the longest and free flowing hair last year. After my hair cut, few people are recognising me, few are forgetting me and few have an expression saying what the heck is his hair style. Its getting weird and curly everyday. When people stare at me I try to give an expression that is similiar to this alien expression.

Manic March

It's that freaking March here ( ok, for you also) where people talk of hectic schedules and doing hefty work saying that it's the financial year end. I still find time to blog here because I am not saying I am busy. Got it? No you din't, so leave it. What have I got to bark in here. Lets see.

I finally could start one of my passions other than cricket, this year and that is tennis. I've been an ardent follower of tennis more so the past couple of years. It's good that I could find sometime in the weekend and have a practice session for couple of hours on Saturdays and Sundays. Things I realised while I got enrolled and had a hit out on clay court :
1. You need to be extremely fit to play the game.
2. It's not as easy as you see on TV. You would get exhausted quickly.
3. If you are beginner like me, try to toss the ball properly right over your head and hit a serve.
4. It needs huge practice to hit any forehand or backhand cross court winner with pinpoint accuracy.
5. If you think you are already good in table tennis and already thinking that you can learn tennis on the same lines, then you got to be searching for your mind. They both only have the word tennis in common and nothing more than that.
6. If you are fat and don't have agility you are better of watching the game on TV. Yes, you can still play the game not on the court but on your computer.

Having said that, if you are passionate about the game you can learn it in a month. It would test all your body joints. Any niggle in any part of your body will be tested. Now I wonder how these guys have been playing the game for more than a decade. My coach, who is in his early twenties and has been playing the game for 8 years, says, I am serving well and improved a bit over the first couple of sessions since he had seen me. Of course man, I have it in me. I am starting the game on clay. I am trying Novak's cross court shots which are currently not going past the net. A better idea would be to remove the net and play. But then, it wouldn't be called tennis without a net, would it?

And India pulls off an amazing CB series one day tournament win in Australia. Last time it was England. This is the last time this CB series is played and it will change it's format next year, perhaps with a new sponsor and may be with more or less teams. We all went down to watch the last 15 minutes of the match at our cafeteria. A big person in the management section in our office has come down and had a look at those who are watching the cricket in office hours. We might expect a mail that people are no longer allowed to watch matches during office hours. But hey, we had seen the match in our one hour break time that's given to us a day. It for sure itches the top guys. I have a solution. One cannot stop the forthcoming itch, but to get rid of the current one, one can surely scratch the itch.