Pearl harper

So I hope things are pretty much settled with most guys in this year. I got up today morning little early today at 7. I switched on TV and found Pearl Harbour telecasted in Star Movies. That locked my eyes for a while. That's the scene when Japanese were getting ready to strike Pearl Harbour and I thought, it's good to watch those action scenes for few minutes before I get ready to my office. So was relaxing and admiring the fighter crafts, tension in the US camp with that half decoded messages and before the US could get their act together they find Japanese planes hovering over US naval base. Japanese fighter crafts drops a bomb in the water, not your stealth bomber or MOAB's which they use it quite often now, but that heavy missile - is that what ? yeah, something like that - which screeches under the water and hits the base of the ship with amazing speed. That's the first strike, good shot.

Woke everyone up and me as well, not the shot, but the SMS from my bank saying your account was debited with forty thousand odd rupees. Pig shit. You wake me up early morning with these SMS's which I had no idea of the transaction? Immediately I wondered if the airline website was the culprit. And to tell what, the money was debited on Feb 14th. Great man. Somebody used my credit card on his valentine's day. How weird for me is that and fun for him? I called up the bank.

Hello, escooz me, I am this fellow from this city. I got an SMS from the bank saying my money was debited. Can you tell the transaction on my credit card..eh eh eh....? Right Sir, I will help you, before I could tell the details please confirm your details and enter the pin number. I am dying here in tension and gasping for breath and somehow I remember the pin number. Thank your sir for verification. There was no transaction made on your credit card. Sir can you tell me is that SMS from credit card or debit card? Nothing was written in the SMS. So she said, Sir I think your transaction could have been from debit card. Please be on line while I transfer your call to the concerned department. ( Freaking do that fast. I am going nuts here....thinking of cancelling the credit card in the process and the stray incident when HSBC credit fellow was robbed of his money comes into my mind from no where....) Am I the victim??? That other department is going to confirm. Sir, you made online transactions two weeks back. Oh did I? Yes I did.Huh..relief... I got an sms for those transactions now? Sir, you got little late. Oh ok.

Sir, I want to inform you of our other offers and the accounts. Would you like to know? Yes. Please be online while I transfer your call. Yes. Thanks. Hang up! Change the channel from Pearl Harbour to Cricket. Safe bet. Get ready to the office and arrive 5 min before. Call my Reliance demat account fellow to know the status. And comes the response, Sir your account is on hold? WTF. You said my application was under process. No sir, it was on hold. So the status of my application was, process - hold - process again - freaking hold again. I want to talk to the manger right now. Put him on line. Tell me the name of the person who has done your application. I don't know. So it's your fault sir. You bird brain, I din't say that.( You have all my details and what else do you want? My DNA samples as well?) We will get back to you very quickly. Bad service from Reliance money not only here but in many places. If your account is activated then the transactions on the website is slow it seems. Somebody even scared me that there are hidden costs as well? I still haven't got any response from them and it's been an hour. Next time, I think twice to watch Pearl Harbour.

The day before V day

I don't qualify even by the slightest margin to write a post on V day, that's your Valentines day, February the 14th. But I will know if I am qualified or not, if only I attempt to write a post on the Do's and Dont's on V day which you ideally want to know on your V day or the D-day. The tips are applicable for both the genders preferably with a little inclination to men, on what they should be doing ideally on this day.

DO's:

1. Put on your best possible dress in which you felt glamorous, handsome and like the Hero of your family. Remember the day you received the best compliments for wearing that dress.
2. Smile stupidly, even though you know that you are making yourself a weirdo.
3.Eye contact they say is very important. And girls do observe that. Yes, they are the first ones to look for assurance. So sit on your chair and don't take your eyes off even if you hear a cyclone warning.
4. Fix your place before hand. Suggest her couple of places where you want to hang out that evening. Make sure the place where you wanted to go is a better option than the other one you suggested, which means, she most probably is coming into your dungeon.
5. Strike a conversation first up. Put your male ego aside for once and make the atmosphere pleasant for her. Pretend to be submissive. You will have your turn to unveil your machiavellian side.
6. Patience. Whatever is your motive, let it not be an ulterior one. If it's not happening today it will happen some day because you made her feel special this day. Girls don't forget things as easily as men do.
7. Praise her a little lesser than what you'd normally do. It will show her that how matured you are.
8. Introduce her to any of the known people you come across ( even the waiter) and tell them that she is your good friend. Fullstop.
9. Do the pick and drop service for free and expect nothing. Expecting nothing should always lead into to a positive result.
10. Evening, after spending an hour with her, around 8 pm, is the best time to propose if you are having the balls. But if you don't want to let the cat out of the bag then enjoy your dinner, ask her for a dance ( she WILL agree today), sip a drink and drop her back, gentleman like.

DONT's:

1. Don't try your traditional clothing. It's freaking weird. This is not your country's Independence day. Be casual and contemporary in style.
2. Stop staring at her attire, atleast on this day and involve in a meaningful conversation. Rambo - Sports - Gadgets - are definitely not her domain.
3. Don't touch on issues that she feels is sensitive. Don't get into debates. You don't want to know what her dad is thinking of you today.
4. Don't invite her for dinner to your home with your parents. If there is none in your home then home is heaven.
5. Don't try going out today for the very first time. Lot of anticipation will be running through her mind. You don't want to feed a girls brain with indirect assumptions.
6. Don't gulp your drinks as if this is the last time you are going out with her. I know you are elated that she came out, but that doesn't mean your should be out of your senses.

So that's pretty much on how I could get rid of the boredom today. A little thought to my brain and I came up with those points. Times of India, writes this junk stuff every weekend. That's how he sells his paper. I did a little TOI today but then, everything has come out of my mind. Say no to plagiarism. We can see, Shiv Sena protesting V day in Mumbai. That I bet will be the headline in prime time news bulletin tomorrow in CNN-IBN. Is India fast adopting the Western culture ,will be your 10 pm Cross Fire debate program with some junk experts. Ironically, I have TOI delivered to my room everyday and I watch CNN-IBN every night. You can crib at the hilt,but you have to live with what is being delivered to you.

Valentines day has never been special for me. Not expecting it to change anything on this day in the future. It has just been a day in the school, college or office. But people who know me anticipate that there is some activity buzzing around me on this day, however I admit there is none. I've been putting that to off for quite sometime now. It's never ever been special. Yeah, looking for some consolation baby.I know my time would come as well. Exactly. Okay,Thanks baby.

Tax savings

The financial year end is fast approaching and blokes who are earning strictly on paper has to file the tax for their previous year. That's a given. So in this income tax filing and saving mayhem you would be approached with lot of mutual fund clients, insurance agents and your ( salary account) bank fund managers who will be having unprecedented interest in your wealth. This guy will call you and say:

"Sir, I am from XYZ bank where you have your salary account with us. We would like to advice you on your funds and give proper guidance on what best possible way you can reduce the tax. What could be the suitable time for you?".

An ideal answer to that question would be, never. Somebody taking over control over my account, accessing the personal details to the minutest - to such an extent that they need even my grandmother's name, wtf, - rattles me to no end. And inturn this bloke asks you, sir how much you spend in a month for living, shopping and shitting. We know mate, how to manage our limited funds. The best possible way to answer them is, ask them to give a demo - not over the phone but in person, listen to what he says and the mutual funds that he would suggest and reply with the best polite answer," I'll get back to you " . Remember that golden phrase in the interview, when you were deprived of your first job which you thought that you nailed it easily and were dreaming?

So I filed the tax for this year. Din't save much. Not to the extent of the tax exemption that is allowed. I prefer to pay tax than to save such a hefty amount. Your heart pounds to save anything. It's hard to save something just because you want to avoid paying tax for that amount. It does help for sure, the savings. You are saving for yourself and you can get your savings back with interest after a minimum lock-in period of three years and importantly, the point that has to be taken is, your savings are not going down the drain as you might think while investing. To me and to most of them, the best way to exempt tax is buy a house on a bank loan and show the annual house interest that you are paying to the bank to the IT department under section 80C . Simplest and the easiest way to get rid of that 1 lac tax exemption.

That has been the first couple of hours of the story in the morning. I am done with my filing and now the it's upto the IT department to do the pay cheque resizing. If you are deducted excess tax during the financial year and have to receive returns from the IT department, boy, forget it. It takes ages here and I am one of the luckiest blokes to get my last year returns back in hand. There are guys who are waiting in the queue and they have lost hope long back the moment they filed their returns. I was one of them until Dhanalakshmi knocked my house with a Govt of India cheque. We plan for our tax very diligently. And that's the only thing in the fiscal year that we are very sure of.